I was reading a blog about advice caregivers give to other caregivers and as I read through the suggestions (all of which rang true,) one connected with me more than all the others—“live in the moment.”
“Live in the moment,” is a phase I’ve heard much of my life in the context of learning to appreciate life. The comment parallels the phases, “stop and smell the roses,” and “this, too, shall pass.” While I rarely “stop to smell the roses” (all the flowers in my yard are artificial, even the roses), I do try my best to “live in the moment” and keep in mind that “this, too, shall pass” but from my perspective, they take on a little different meaning.
When I’m asked what advice I would give to someone who suddenly is thrust into the role of caregiver, I always say, “Take life moment by moment and try not to have, too, many expectations.” I guess that sounds pessimistic to some but I see it as being realistic.
I’ve find that when I plan my day, I still tend to plan it as if I can actually control what happens. For example, today is Saturday. It is the one day I get to actually get a full night’s sleep provided we don’t have anyone coming to the house to help us out. Today, I had no visitors coming so I got seven hours of sleep!!!! I feel wonderful; full of energy. I planned that after I finished our morning routine, I could write my blog, do some flower arrangements for the porch and get some work done for my paying job. Wrong….
I started to write this blog at 12:00 p.m. It is now 2:30 p.m. and when I got interrupted, I had written two paragraphs. Lynn has an unexpected trip back to the bathroom. That’s a big deal when someone is fully dependent on someone else. It takes time to get them undressed again, assist them with contracting their abdominal muscles by pushing on their stomach for them, doing the necessary clean up, back to bed, redress, then back up again and settled in for their next task. That additional 1 ½ hours of unexpected activity will mean either not doing something for my job or not doing the flower arrangements. Things change, moment by moment and usually it’s not something that can be foreseen; however, it’s something that must be handled because it’s necessary and “you” have to do it.
Continue reading at: http://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/moment-moment/
When I’m asked what advice I would give to someone who suddenly is thrust into the role of caregiver, I always say, “Take life moment by moment and try not to have, too, many expectations.” I guess that sounds pessimistic to some but I see it as being realistic.
I’ve find that when I plan my day, I still tend to plan it as if I can actually control what happens. For example, today is Saturday. It is the one day I get to actually get a full night’s sleep provided we don’t have anyone coming to the house to help us out. Today, I had no visitors coming so I got seven hours of sleep!!!! I feel wonderful; full of energy. I planned that after I finished our morning routine, I could write my blog, do some flower arrangements for the porch and get some work done for my paying job. Wrong….
I started to write this blog at 12:00 p.m. It is now 2:30 p.m. and when I got interrupted, I had written two paragraphs. Lynn has an unexpected trip back to the bathroom. That’s a big deal when someone is fully dependent on someone else. It takes time to get them undressed again, assist them with contracting their abdominal muscles by pushing on their stomach for them, doing the necessary clean up, back to bed, redress, then back up again and settled in for their next task. That additional 1 ½ hours of unexpected activity will mean either not doing something for my job or not doing the flower arrangements. Things change, moment by moment and usually it’s not something that can be foreseen; however, it’s something that must be handled because it’s necessary and “you” have to do it.
Continue reading at: http://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/moment-moment/
