Hope you Enjoyed Thanksgiving

I am very fortunate that almost everyone in my husband’s family likes to cook because I don’t.  I enjoy eating but I eat to live; I don’t live to eat…except maybe for desserts. 
Early Thursday morning, my wonderful sister-in-law arrived at my house to start the Thanksgiving feast.  She did the entire meal, start to finish, and it was absolutely delicious.  I am so thankful that she will do this for us. 
Lynn cannot access anyone else’s home in our family and therefore, it would be difficult, if not impossible, for us to go somewhere else other than maybe a restaurant. This year we also had the challenge that my father-in-law is now blind due to macular degeneration. Therefore, we have learned to be creative. At one end of the table we made a space for Lynn’s wheelchair and at the other end, we made sure everything was set in an “easy to locate” design.  It worked.  We have great food; everyone ate their fill, and I think we each had a plate for dinner as well.
Lynn and I have much to be thankful for. Though he cannot do much for himself, he still manages to stay productive with the help of family and friends who help him type his manuscripts.  When they are not around, he slowly works on marketing his first book through the internet.  This activity has kept him working toward a goal and maintained his creativity.  Furthermore, he has not had an exacerbation in two years and he is gaining strength gradually with his diet plan and exercise.
I am still able to work from home and keep our income source which is essential in order to keep a roof over our heads and access to the things we both need to make life comfortable.
Our church family continues to take care of us in every way possible.  They are awesome and remarkable in all that they do for us.  We are so blessed to have them in our lives and to have a Lord and Savior who meets our needs everyday and blesses us in abundance.
We have family who love and care for us and who are devoted to lifting us up at all times.  Lynn’s mother, sister, and son come every week to spend time with him which takes a burden off me.  My daughter now comes over two or three times a week to type for him.  My son helps as he can (though with his fiance’s mother, whom they live with, is terminally ill; therefore, most of his time now must be devoted to helping them–for which I am also grateful that he’s there to do so).  My son-in-law takes great care of our daughter and helps us often around our house.  Our new daughter-in-law takes good care of Lynn’s son and loves us all.  And last but not least is the blessing our wonderful grandson who has spread joy throughout our lives in so many ways.
Our blessings are too many to list and more than we deserve but for each we are grateful.  I hope your Thanksgiving was also blessed.

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What a day!

I have had a terrible day, and it’s all due to having to get a new modem to my computer.  I truly believe computers can either be your best friend or your worst nightmare, and since about Wednesday; I’ve had it up to my eyeballs in frustration with them.

First, on Tuesday, I lost the internet.  I HAVE to have the internet because that’s how I connect to work.  I called tech support and spent over an hour, trying to figure out what was wrong.  They decided it was my modem and said they would have to send me one.  I was really upset.  If I can’t work from home, I have to go to work.  Who was going to stay with Lynn if I went in?  If I didn’t go in, I had to take a vacation day.  Who wants to take a vacation because their internet is down? 

I was on the verge of tears.  Lynn insisted he would be fine and I had to leave him home alone.  I didn’t want to but what other choice did I have?  I started getting him ready, getting the items he would need within reach, tidied myself up to go in (I don’t exactly dress professionally at home), and got ready to leave.  Fortunately, before I got to the main highway, Lynn called to say the internet was back up.  I was so relieved! I turned around and came home (so much for the tech support diagnosis).

Late Wednesday the modem came in by UPS.  Supposedly it’s faster than what I had so this morning I hooked it up.  I’ve been working on the x!@#$%^ thing all day!  First getting my computer set up took well over an hour because the activation process wasn’t working for me. I finally got that settled.  I then had internet, but Lynn’s computer didn’t.  Tonight I spent 2 hours on the phone with a guy from India (who was incredibly nice), but Lynn’s computer still doesn’t have an internet connection.  It’s connected to my modem, but the internet won’t come up. What’s with that?  I finally had to get off the phone. I have now hooked up a laptop for him to use, but it’s got such a small keyboard and monitor I don’t know that he can use it at all.

I share all this because of the effect it had on us.  I was so frustrated all day–torn between wanting to help him (so he could work on his book marketing and play music from YouTube), and I need to work or do things around the house.  He knew how upset I was, and that directly made him feel like a burden.  He had had a good day today.  He was able to do things in physical therapy and later, when he was exercising that he hasn’t been able to do in a while.  He was so excited, and all I could do was focus on the !@#$%^ computer.  My behavior stole his joy.  He was feeling so bad about being a burden to me that he was nearly in tears this afternoon. Then he recognized it was just Satan trying to steal his joy and undermine his progress so he would give up. Which also showed me that Satan was doing the same thing to me, so instead of seeing Lynn’s growth, I would focus on the difficulties.  What a shame. 

I wish I could say I’ve learned my lesson, but I know myself too well.  I can easily get overwhelmed and start to feel sorry for myself, and then I take it out on Lynn, letting him know how frustrated I am that he cannot do more and accusing him of not trying hard enough. He truly tries but with fatigue and spasms, and just plain ole MS complications, he can only do so much.

Lord, please forgive me of my attitude and self-pity and help me to appreciate the improvements and the successes.  And Lord, please give me an extra measure of peace in my spirit so that the frustrations of trying to work on his computer tomorrow won’t result in the same thing.  Amen.

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