2018 MSCaregiverDonna

Retirement to the Rescue

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I have always had a tough time saying no to anyone. Saying no fills me with guilt. I like to solve problems and make others feel better. I, therefore, tend to suffer from a lot of blame if I can’t solve the issues presented for a resolution quickly or at all. I feel like a failure creating feelings of depression and anger.

On the other hand, pushing to answer complex problems can result in positive consequences, too. To avoid feelings of guilt, I struggle to try harder to succeed in reaching my goal of meeting the person’s needs, and it helps me to be more creative. However, often along with the added energy and motivation comes additional stress and anxiety.

Continue reading at https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/retirement/

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Holiday Preparations

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Getting ready for the holidays at my house incorporates specific considerations that many families who do not deal with chronic illnesses do not consider as part of their preplanning task list. Since most of you readers have similar concerns, you probably know where I’m going with this but for new caregivers just starting to deal with the holiday season, here are some of the staging considerations that I do in advance to help the gathering go as well as possible.

Continue Reading at https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/holiday-preparations/

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Can You Speak?

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I recently needed to use that phrase in a way I had hoped never to have to use it. No, my husband did not need CPR, but he was unresponsive. He had lost consciousness while being moved using a ceiling transport device and slipped out of the harness to fall four feet landing first on his shoulder followed by his head hitting the ground and bouncing up to slam into the door jam on the opposite side.

After hearing the thud and his caregiver’s cry of alarm, I ran to their location to find him unconscious and using a breathing pattern typical of someone who has had a seizure. His eyes were open but unseeing. My attempts to get through to him included shouting, “Can you hear me?” “Can you speak?”

Continue reading at: https://multiplesclerosis.net/caregiver/can-you-speak/

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Something’s Different. Something’s Not Right. Listen to Me.

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Caregivers need help finding answers

Something’s different.
Don’t you hear that? Don’t you see the difference?
It’s not the same.
Something’s wrong.
Something’s changed.
Trust me, I know. I can tell. It’s not right.
I don’t care that the lab work is normal.
I don’t care that he looks good to you.
I don’t care that you’re an expert in illness.
I am the expert on him.
In our world of daily living.
We are one. I know something’s wrong.
I know his every breath.
I know what every sound means
I know where every pimple, pink spot, dark bruise, or open tear appears.
I know his smells-good and bad.
I know his body temp-good and bad.
I know his moods-good and bad.
I know his changes-good and bad.
Just like an artisan working his craft
I am an artisan of healing in his life.
I know him.
I know what works and what doesn’t.
I know how best to apply healing.
You need my help.
I keep you from making mistakes.
I stop you from assumptions that harm.
I am your partner, Not your enemy.
Use ME.
Something’s different.  Something’s not right.
Listen.      To.        Me.
Something’s wrong.

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