Living the Loss

I attended a memorial service recently at my church.  It was the first time I had attended a church “service” there in three years.  The last time I was there, I was rehearsing for our Christmas drama and had one of the lead roles.  We were in the final weeks before the production and I had to drop out because Lynn was admitted to the hospital.  He was in ICU for a month and then readmitted two more times during the next six months.  Once he entered the hospital, his strength and functionality were significantly compromised due to inactivity and the complications of his condition so initially we could not return to church due to his health.  About a year later, he was strong enough to return but we discovered his power chair was too big to fit the elevator so he couldn’t go unless he used a manual wheelchair.  He isn’t strong enough to sit upright that long without the support of his power chair so we are currently waiting for renovations underway at church that will include a new elevator and handicap bathroom so we can come back.  Church members even lovingly call it “Lynn’s elevator.”

Prior to his MS progressing to this stage, Lynn sang in the choir, played hand bells, played drums for the praise band, provided some carpenter assistance in addition to attending services and Sunday school every week. I sang in the choir, played hand bells, lead a drama team, worked with a support group, and helped in the nursery while also attending services and Sunday school every week.  We were both very involved and much of our social interaction and support came from people at church.  Not being able to attend church left a big hole in our lives.  Many still send cards and they have supported us in so many ways, both financially and in service; that our lives continue to be touched and blessed by their generosity and compassion.  However, the type of fellowship we used to have is missing in our lives.

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4 thoughts on “Living the Loss”

  1. Donna thank you for sharing. I hope that many caregivers will read the research that God led me to in my blog at The myelin sheath is being attacked by large amounts of lysoPC in our foods and products producing lesions. It is a cumulative effect and could be caused by many products including but not limited to digestive enzymes, DHA, enzyme modified foods, medicines with LysoPC, tobacco, and marijuana. I pray many caregivers will read this and take the necessary steps to help your loved with ms recover. Recovery is possible. 🙂 Praise Jesus!

  2. Donna, I’m the same way. I didn’t cry at funerals until I lost my husband, then my father. Now, when I attend such a service, it reminds me of my own losses, and it’s hard to keep from losing it. Of course others think I’m grieving for the deceased when I’m actually blowing my nose and dabbing my eyes for my own selfish reasons. After reading your post, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this behavior. At least you’re focusing on what you have and not what you lost.

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