2013 Blog Posts

Planning, Time, and Flexibility: Essential Ingredients for the Holidays

Christmas is a wonderful time of year; full of fun, excitement, and familyThe basic unit in society traditionally consisted of two parents and their children but the family has now been expanded to include any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family…. More gatherings.  For weeks beforehand, I spend time decorating, planning, anticipating the good times and envisioning the perfect holiday.  Like so many dreams, reality is rarely the picture perfect vision that I have in my head.  That is particularly true now that MS is part of our lives. Lynn and I have three big family get-togethers at Christmas—my parents and siblings come the week before Christmas, our kids come Christmas Eve, and his family comes Christmas day.  Each is a wonderful

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Hold My Hand

Dear Lord, I don’t know why you do the things that you do or why you let happen the things that you choose. I’ve often doubted your wisdom and resented your ways; not willing to accept what I was facing that day. Like when I was a young and my friends turned away, I was sad and alone and tempted to stray but you taught me the value if I would obey and brought me a new friend I have to this day. I went on through school and a nurse I became my dreams of my childhood were just not the same I landed a job that allowed me to grow in ways that prepared me for what I must know. The trials of a marriage destined not to

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All He Can Do Is Yell

I’ve never been comfortable with strong expressions of anger. I’m the sort of person that prefers to compromise and resolve things peacefully so one of the more difficult challenges I have faced is how to handle Lynn’s frustrations expressed through anger. Today as I was working at my desk, I heard over the baby monitor I use to make sure that I hear him if he needs anything, the increasing volume of Lynn’s voice as he was trying to get his voice recognition software to work properly. As I sat there, I could hear him first repeat the same command three times, each time a little differently.  Then he started adding in a few expletives and some not very flattering descriptions of the software program. Finally, the volume and expletives became

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Thus the Week Before Christmas

Thus the week before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring not even my spouse A small Christmas tree had been placed on a stand So he could “see” Christmas from his power wheelchair The last of our children this past year had been wed So most of my parenting worries I’d shed While Lynn takes a nap, I put on many hats I cook and I clean and on my keyboard I tap When out of the quiet, I hear Lynn start to chatter I listen intently wondering what’s the matter? “Hey Sweetie,” he calls, “can you come get this trash?” Now what is he doing? I muse as I dash. The room as I enter looks peaceful and glows With the lights from the

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Follow Me on WWW.Multiplesclerosis.net

For those of you to like to follow  my blog, I recently began writing for Multiple Sclerosis.Net, an email newsletter that is published weekly.  My first article was just printed.  In case you’re interested in reading the email newsletter,  just go to http://www.multiplesclerosis.net Adapting Celebrations to Meet Our Needs Finally all the Christmas decorating is finished!  What usually takes me two, maybe three days, has taken me twice that long. But then, almost everything I do now takes twice as long as it did in the past – before my spouse was diagnosed with MS. (http://www.multiplesclerosis.net)

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Cheesecake Makes it All Worthwhile

I love Christmas.  I’m sure I’m not alone when I say it’s my favorite time of year.  I love the excitement, the beauty, and especially the meaning….but it IS a lot of work. The reason I did not write a blog last week is that I was busy decorating for Christmas.  You see, I must have about 2o tubs of Christmas decorations.  I have stuff for the inside and stuff for the outside and although it takes a long time and my poor arthritic joints are crying the blues, I enjoy every minute of decorating. However, now it’s a bit more challenging to get all that decorating done and it takes twice as long as it used to do. Once upon a time, I used to get all my decorating

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I'll Miss You, Patrick

It was with great sadness this week that I learned of Patrick Leer’s death.  He passed away at home in the presence of his daughter, Megan, after battling unsuccessfully lung cancer with metastasis to the brain. Throughout his journey, he remained a fighter, keeping a positive outlook and determined not to let the disease win, but win it did on November 11. When I first decided to write my blog, it was actually with the expectation that no one would likely read it but family even though I hoped that maybe a few other caregivers of family members with MS might stumble across it and we could connect through sharing our experiences. Patrick was one of the first to make that connection with me.  He had been caring for his

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How am I Thankful? Let Me Count the Ways

I’m ashamed to say that I often use this blog to vent.  When I’m tired and discouraged, I find it therapeutic to talk it through on this blog knowing that there are those out there who have gone through the same things or are experiencing them now,  and that helps to know I am not alone.  When I receive comments of support and encouragement, it’s better than my own private therapy session. So I’m thankful for those who listen to me whine and share and to those who share with me as well. I’m thankful for my husband.  Though providing for his care is overwhelming at times, I’m thankful that he is here for me to care for.  I’m thankful for his encouragement and his caring.  He’s always looking for

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Take Care of Myself? LOL

I read an interesting article on the CaregiverA person who provides needed help to someone of any age who is ill or injured and unable to care for themselves.  They may provide emotional support, physical assistance, financial assistance, or other types of help…. More Space this week which has led me to think a lot of taking care of myself and why I don’t.  The article was called “6 Reasons Why Caregivers Don’t Self-Care (the way you’re telling us to)”  http://www.thecaregiverspace.org/blog/6-reasons-caregivers-dont-self-care-way-youre-telling-us/   It got right to the heart of why; at least for that person.  Of course, some of her reasons were not the same as some of the reasons I have but many were very similar. Here’s my version of her same theme: 1.  Take a walk – As I’ve

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Audiobook…Take Me Away

I love to read.  Since I was a small girl, I’ve taken a book with me everywhere I go. If there was the possibility that I might have waiting time, I had my book ready and waiting to spare me from any boredom as I was taken into the world of “whatever” for the few minutes I would wait.  LOL…There were even times when I wished for more waiting time so I could finish a particularly interesting section. When I read, I become immersed in the story.  I escape into the mystery of “who done it” and follow the trail to the next clue cheering along the good guys and hoping the bad will “get theirs.”  During a week’s vacation I would devour 5-6 novels sitting for hours at pool

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A Little to the Left Please

I often complain about how picky I think Lynn is.  One of my greatest frustrations is how much effort it takes to get something right for him.  It has to be “just so” before we can stop fiddling with whatever it is.  I’ve always thought that it was just because he was picky but something he said last night made me realize that he really was just trying to get comfortable.  He was telling me that his son said to him once, “Dad, you just have to accept that you’re going to be uncomfortable occasionally.  Just accept it.” (I’ve often had that same thought) Lynn’s response back was, “But you don’t understand. I’m uncomfortable ALL the time.  When I keep asking you to do it over, I’m just trying to

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I Didn't Say That

I’ve discovered that a lot of people who have never been caregivers just don’t get what it really means to be a caregiver and they make a lot of bad assumptions that sometimes cause us hurt.  I had an example of that this week. On Friday, I received an email from my former sister-in-law.  She was “outraged” by something she believed I had endorsed and proceeded to accuse me of being thoughtless, uncaring, unappreciative, heartless, and a Christian who did not live what I believed.  She said some very hurtful things based on a rumor she had apparently heard from someone who was uninformed and absolutely wrong in what they shared.  Not only did she hurt me but she hurt my daughter who she was really trying to get to

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Who Am I?

Looking outside, I see some new orange and yellow colors where last week I saw green.  There is a sporadic fluttering of leaves cascading in front of the window on their way to cover my yard. The air is crisp causing me to need to turn on heat this morning so Lynn would not be too cold today.  It seems that summer is definitely over. Working from home now so that I can care for Lynn, I find it hard to really be part of the seasonal changes.  I wear the same scrub suites all year.  I am only outside a very few minutes at a time usually so I can always be in earshot of Lynn’s call for help or need to be catheterized so the usual changes in

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So This is What a Day of Freedom Feels Like

My daughter approached me during our vacation and asked if I would be interested in speeding the day with her “escaping” from our caregiving responsibilities and just doing what we wanted to do.  She knew I usually worked on the weekends but thought that I should take a break and do something just for myself.  She also confessed that she, too, needed that break from caring for her special needs child as well. Falling into the category of “great minds thinking alike,”  I told her I had been thinking the same thing.  We both needed a “me” day so, of course, I said, “absolutely!” Well, yesterday, she made it happen.  Her husband who works almost every weekend was off.  She checked with my step-son, and though he is often busy also with work

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When Is This Going to go Away?

I realized something this week. Somewhere in my subconscious, I seem to be waiting for all “this” to go away…to wake up one day and “everything” be back to normal.  How odd is that? Lynn was diagnosed with MS in 2006.  We were married in 1997.  I knew well before his diagnosis that he had MS even though he was repeatedly told he didn’t; that his symptoms were something else.  Lynn didn’t want to have MS so he accepted that explanation; however, I’m a realist, and in my heart, I knew. When the official call came and one of his worst fears was realized, I just received confirmation of what I “knew.”  I immediately started researching what I needed to know so I could manage his care. Initially, he was

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Now This is What I Call Accessible

For the first time in eight years, Lynn has been able to “swim” in the ocean.  He was overjoyed at the experience (that grimace in the picture is only due to the wave splashing in his face; he was having a blast) and so were we.  So in spite of the fact that Radical Mobility apparently lied to us about sending us the parts to make his 4wd wheelchair work for our beach vacation, we found a truly accommodating community that supported our needs. During the winter, I was told by one of our home health providers about a handicap accessible house on Emerald Isle in North Carolina.  She told us that the fire department there loaned floating wheelchairs that could be used on the beach on a first come

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Radical Mobility Lets Us Down Yet Again

Within a few days, we’ll be getting ready to head out to the beach. Lynn loves the beach.  His favorite past-time has always been to surf fish.  Since he became restricted to a wheelchair, this has not been possible.  So in hopes of being able to participate in that joyful experience he purchased a very expensive 4-wheel drive wheelchair from Radical Mobility in 2009.  Unfortunately, he has never been able to use it (see my post about this from March 2013 for details  http://mscaregiverdonna.wordpress.com/2013/03/01/thinking-of-buying-4wd-wheelchair-dont-buy-from-radical-mobility/). When it first arrived, he was too sick but by the following summer, he was well enough to take it with us to the beach.  However, once there, it would not carry him up the ramp into the van and it would not drive on sand;

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Fear of the Future

One of the ways we cope with Lynn’s condition is to deal with what we have “today” and not look too far ahead.  That’s especially true for Lynn; not as much for me.  My personal make-up requires that I have a sense of control about my life so I ALWAYS look ahead and plan for what’s coming up. I hate surprises and am not an impulsive person, at all! While that works for me, Lynn doesn’t want to think about the future.  He might plan for projects that he wants to do but he doesn’t want to really look at the future.  He’s almost, but not quite, the type to bury his head in the sand.  That’s especially true when it comes to MS. Ever since he was diagnosed with

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Happy Birthday to Me!

T0day is my birthday.  I’m a grand ole 56 years young or old depending on which joint is aching and how much sleep I have had.  Usually, I do not pay much attention to birthdays.  My children are grown and no one is in the house but me and Lynn and he has no way to buy me a card or gift or anything so it’s just another day.  I get cards and emails and they are all fun and make me feel good but today….today was the best birthday I can ever remember having!! First off, I went in to work.  Usually I work from home which means I juggle taking care of Lynn and doing my job–often a difficult balance at best and can be very frustrating to

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Choices and Calculated Risk

I had to make a choice this week about my own care that turned out well but according to the urgent care doctor I saw, was not very bright.  Maybe so, but it was a calculated risk and one that I felt was the right decision at the time and as it turned out, was the right decision in retrospect as well. You see, I have a lot of allergies and sensitivities.  I am often caught off guard by some new thing I’ve become allergic to so I keep epi (epinephrine) pins around just in case.  Well, Saturday night I noticed I sure had a lot of bug bites for only having been on my deck picking hot peppers for a few minutes.  As the night progressed, they were even

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Divine Intervention?

I’m supposed to be at my eye appointment right now.  Since I’m writing a blog instead, you are correct in assuming, I didn’t make it there today. I really wanted to go get my eyes checked but even more, I really wanted new glasses.  I wear progressive lens in very inexpensive frames and for the past two years I have struggled with them constantly slipping down my nose, irritating the bridge of my nose where they sit, and not being able to see anyone I was talking to who stood within two feet of me because I would have to view them through the wrong “progressive” section of my lens.  I had it all arranged…Lynn’s aunt and uncle were coming early so I could leave on time and I had planned

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Awesome News, Patrick!

When I first began to write about my experiences as an MS Caregiver, Patrick Leer was there to share an encouraging word.  Since his first comment on my blog, I have followed his journey in caregiving for his wife, Patti, whose MS has progressed to the point that she is in a long-term care facility ( http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/).  However, not having her at home has not lessened his participation in caring for her.  His dedication to her well-being has been constant and remarkable.  Now Patrick is the one who needs care and support.  Patrick was diagnosed last year with Lung Cancer and a few months ago discovered it had spread to his brain (http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/).  After intensive treatment, I am thrilled to share that the brain metastasis is no longer showing on the

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The Best Laid Plans…Oh, Forget It

By far, one of the greatest frustrations I have as a caregiver is that I have no control over what I want to do and when I want to do it. I am sitting here so frustrated at this moment that I can hardly think straight. Today is July 4, my day off.  However, I actually planned to work today to catch up on some projects at work that I REALLY need to do.  I had my plans all straight but here it is 4 pm and I have not done anything I planned to do.  I could cry. I took some “me” time last night from midnight to 2 a.m. to watch a movie I rented from Blockbluster (been trying for a week to even be able to put

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See Me Through His Eyes

I’m ashamed of how much I complain to Lynn about the things he asks me to do.  If he calls me to cath him and it’s only been 40 minutes I’ll say something like, “you’ve got to be kidding!  You couldn’t possibly need to pee again this soon.”  Today I was gripping because he now eats four small meals a day rather than three times a day. That’s one extra 30-minute period for me to prepare his meal and feed him.  When he wanted to exercise, I sigh and say, “Guess I won’t be making that phone call I need to return.”  I say things all the time to make him feel guilty for asking for my help!  I don’t see how he puts up with me or why he

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Call If You Need Anything

Every had this conversation? “How’s [insert family member’s name here] ? You know, that if you ever need anything, anything at all, that all you have to do is call….” Really?  In my experience most of the time that is a polite way of letting me know the person cares and at that time, they certainly mean they would be willing to help, but they hope secretly that you’ll never actually call. Getting unsolicited offers of help is rare and asking for help is just hard. When Lynn first got sick, I always declined offers of help.  For one thing, I didn’t want anyone to think I couldn’t handle it.  He was “my” responsibility and I didn’t want anyone saying I wasn’t doing well by him. The other reason though was that

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Loss of Intimacy?

When my role as a caregiver became more demanding, I found myself acting more as a caregiver and less as a wife.  In the early stages of MS, Lynn still worked, drove himself around, completed projects, and helped me with things I needed.  He shared in the responsibilities of the house and we shared our lives as a couple. While he needed some assistance, particularly at night when he was most tired, he was independent in his own care and was still functioning as a husband, making decisions about our future, making sure maintenance of our home and vehicles occurred, taking measures to ensure our safety and securing our resources. Then came the day he was home alone, fell, and could not get up.  He was stranded for almost three hours

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Life's Precious Balance

As winter progressed to spring this year, Lynn was finally beginning to feel less fatigue, his muscles were getting stronger, his reactions to the Rebif injections were becoming less and less and it seemed that he was finally over the hump of recovering from his hospitalization in 2010, the anemia afterwards, and then the adjustment to the Rebif.  He was feeling good. We set a goal of returning to church the first Sunday in April and were really getting excited about our plan to re-enter the fellowship of our church family. He started trying to get acclimated to his manual wheelchair so he would be able to tolerate sitting in it for up to two hours (our church elevator is old and cannot accommodate• An adaptation or adjustment especially of

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Accepting What You Grow Up With

When I was young, no one in my immediate family had any type of visible disability.  I grew up in the “country” and all the adults and children were physically active and spent a lot of time in physical labor.  I remember helping my parents build the homes of other family members. By the time I was twelve I had helped lay cinder block, shingle a roof, painted walls, hammered nails, dug in gardens, cleared land, etc. My story was typical of the experiences of others in our community (we didn’t have neighborhoods per se because most houses had at least a few acres around them so all our neighbors were further away than a stone’s throw).  I knew or was related to almost everyone for miles. There were a few

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Second Generation Caregiver

It would seem that as of this week, my daughter has officially become a caregiver thus establishing a second generation of caregivers in our family. In reality, she has been a caregiver for many months now, but with the hospitalization of her son, my grandson, it now seems official. Eli will be one year old on Memorial Day. He is full of energy never wanting to stop exploring his world.  He notices everything and remembers what he sees.  He’s becoming independent crawling wherever he wants to go with determination.  He pulls up and walks around things holding on so it’s just a matter of time before he takes off running across the floor.  He has a smile that will light up the room.  He LOVES people.  He has never met

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Caregiver or Mom?

Having just celebrated a great Mother’s Day with my three children and their spouse’s, I couldn’t help but think that although my kids are all now grown, my mothering days are not over. I’m not referring to my status of “once a Mom, always a Mom,” which is certainly true but I’m talking about how being a caregiver is much the same as being a mother. As a Mom, I did everything I could to keep my kids safe, happy, and well.  As a caregiver, I do the same.  Whenever I’m in the presence of my “child” (Lynn in this case) I watch for signs of danger.  Is he about to run over something with his wheelchair that might topple him over?  Has he allowed his food to sit out

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Has Anyone Seen My Magic Wand?

When you are a caregiver, you learn to multitask and plan ahead… or you don’t survive. Once you get good at doing these two things, then others, especially the one you’re caring for, seem to think that you can do anything…like magic. It mystifies me that I can tell Lynn what’s on my “to do” list and thirty minutes later, he thinks it’s done.  He has no concept of how much time it takes me to accomplish a task because he has no idea of what happens when I go to do a task. Let me give you an example which will be very familiar to many of you:  going to the kitchen to get a snack for him after finishing his bath. It goes something like this… Lynn:  “Donna, can

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The Caregiver's Prayer by Kelly Combs

The following Caregiver‘s Prayer appeared in a local church’s newsletter recently.  Lynn’s aunt shared it with me and I contacted Kelly, the author, to see if I could share it with you.  She graciously agreed. I have included her bio below as well as the introduction to the prayer and the prayer, itself. I hope it blesses you as it did me. Kelly Combs wrote this poem for her father, who has been a dedicated caregiver to many, and is currently caring for his wife who has Alzheimer’s. Kelly writes a devotional blog at www.chattykelly.com. The Caregiver’s Prayer By: Kelly Combs Being a caregiver is hard. Whether it is your aging parents, a sick spouse, or another chronically ill person, the weight can be overwhelming, even as it is done

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Update on Ongoing 4WD Wheelchair

If you follow my blog, you read a post on March 1 describing the challenges we were having related to a 4 wheel drive wheelchair we bought three years ago from Radical Mobility that has never worked.  We sent them the motor to the wheels, the controller and cabling, almost two years ago now and have still not received them back.  We had attempted over and over again to communicate with the company but unsuccessfully…until I wrote a blog about it. I immediately got a response from the company (Radical Mobility) apologizing for the issues we had experienced and was given a promise that our repairs would be immediately addressed and the items returned, going into the mail on March 5.  Well, it’s now April 24 and they still have not

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Just Sharing

Usually I have a theme for my posts, but not so today.  Instead, I just want to share what’s going on in my life because life doesn’t stop for a caregiver; it just gets busier and busier. Lynn:  He has started to feel better from taking his Rebif. Hallaluyah!  It only took a year.  Though he still has fatigue, it’s much better; except for this past week. For some reason when pollen comes out each spring, it really hits him hard.  He needs about 25 squirts of saline mixed with nose spray every time I enter his room and sometimes twice while I’m there.  He has felt very tired all week and rather depressed. The depression leads to impatience and irritability so my tolerance has been stretched as well.  He

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Protecting Our Home

From what I can tell, one of man’s God-given instincts is to protect his family and property.  That instinct doesn’t change just because you happen to be in a wheelchair and can’t use your hands very well.  Note:  If you’re a member of PETA, do not read any further.  Okay, now you’ve been warned… Lynn and I live in a rural county with lots of trees and animals around us even though our house is in a subdivision.  We regularly see rabbits, squirrels, deer, an occassional skunk or snake but overall, wildlife sightings are pretty common.  All those cute little animals are fun to watch and bring back sweet memories of Disney movies and cartoon characters who play and scamper around.  Unless you live in the county, you might not know there is

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What is a Caregiver?

I’ve had the opportunity this week to read a few blogs from other caregivers and last week to attend a caregiver support group.  In hearing the stories of other caregivers, I started thinking about what it meant to be a caregiver.  There’s certainly the obvious answer, “to give care to someone periodically or full-time,” but there is more to the story; especially if you’re a full-time caregiver to someone who is totally dependent on you due to a mental or physical condition.  Here’s my take on it…. …first, there’s the physical commitment which takes on many faces… If the person cannot “do for himself” then you become his muscles and nerves; not just his hands and feet. It is through your muscles, and therefore, your strength, that he moves to change positions,

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What Do You Feel Guilty About?

That question was posed to me yesterday during a get-together with several other caregivers.  My first thought when I pondered that question was, “what don’t I feel guilty about?”  I realized in listening to the others share, that I don’t give myself enough credit for doing the best I can.  For example…. I feel guilty that I get annoyed at Lynn when he interrupts me over and over again when I’m trying to do other things.  I hear him call my name less than five minutes after I’ve been in his room helping him for fifteen and my first thought is, “what now?”  Then I go into his room fussing about why he couldn’t have said something while I was still there. Often his issue is something he could not

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Thinking of Buying 4WD Wheelchair? Don't Buy from Radical Mobility!

When Lynn first lost his ability to walk, what he missed the most was fishing.  He loved to surf fish. At least four times a year, we would take a long weekend and go to Cape Hatteras for him to fish.  It didn’t matter if it was raining, cold, or hot, he would pack up his fishing gear and take to the sand.  Me–I would pack a good book and relax!  At night we ate what he caught or we went out for seafood. Our last trip was the weekend we found out he “officially” had MS. During that trip, he had extreme difficulty walking to the beach.  I helped him take his gear and get settled and spent a lot of time on the beach “just in case.” Once

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Adjusting to Disappointment

I had a serious disappointment tonight when I got home from work. Not about Lynn but something work related. Once a week I go to the job site where I touch base with my staff and take care of a few meetings that I feel need to be done with “face time” rather than over the phone.  On those days when I get home, I catch up with emails that I can’t really address while on site. As I was reading my emails tonight, I got a denial on a request I had made.  It was something that I had expected to get an affirmative response on and the denial came as a shock.  Obviously I can’t go into what this was about because it’s confidential but what I want to

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When is a Nurse Not a Nurse? When she's a Family Caregiver.

My first career in life was as a registered nurse.  I graduated in 1978 with a diploma in nursing and obtained my BS in 1980.  I was fortunate to have a position that allowed me to learn lots of new procedures that I would teach to others so I had exposure to all types of products, procedures, and knowledge.  Though I left nursing after my first child was born to begin a new career, I kept abreast with many of the changes. I even did home health care for a while as a second job.  I fully believe that God used those experiences to prepare me for my current role as a family caregiver. We have had a home health nurse overseeing Lynn’s wound care for several weeks now.  I was telling

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Wanted: Caregiver Ten Hours a Day

I needed to go into work on Monday.  I was supposed to be meeting someone at 12:30 so I had to leave by 11 (an hour to get to work, 30 minutes to walk to the  location of the meeting and time to prepare for the meeting).  To leave by 11, I have to allow three hours preparation time at least.  To leave, I don’t necessarily have to have someone here but Lynn has to be out of the bed and “set up” for both comfort and safety.  Therefore, to get to work to attend a meeting at 12:30, I need to be out of bed to start by day 4 1/2 hours before the time I need to be there. Because I come on site only one day a week,

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The View From Up Here

Stretched outright, Lynn stands about six-foot tall.  For the past three years; however, he has been around four-feet tall. That’s his height when he’s in his wheelchair.  Since just before he was hospitalized in 2010, he has not been able to stand up or walk.  Being restricted to a wheelchair has; therefore, changed his perspective on how he sees the world. In other words, his view of the world dropped about two feet.  This week that changed… I may have mentioned that we were looking into buying a device that would help him stand.  Lynn has been exercising religiously since he got out of the hospital trying to regain the muscle tone he lost while “laid up” for about three months off and on in 2010.  It takes much, much longer to

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Trying to be All Things at All Times

I’m having one of those “half-empty” days.  Didn’t start out that way.  I was excited because Lynn was having his Tram delivered today and I knew he would be happy to have that.  The Tram is a device we bought to help him stand and perhaps even walk one day so it’s a “hopeful” device based on our faith that he will be able to do more in line with walking, in time. However, he woke up not feeling well from his Rebif shot last night.  When he doesn’t feel well, my day becomes devoted to his constant need for attention.  I needed today to catch up on work I was behind in from my job.  I count of having some dedicated time on Saturday and Sunday to make up for the

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Which Half of the Glass Am I Today?

I have become a “glass half empty” type of person.  I’m not sure exactly when that occurred but it’s definitely true.  Whenever something comes up as a possibility, I think about the risks associated with it and start preparing myself to deal with those possible traumas and disappointments.  It drives Lynn crazy.  Lynn is very optimistic.  He looks at the possibilities and he believes in potentials.  He talks about walking again and building the house we started years ago.  I respond with, “you have a lot of muscle groups to retrain. Don’t get disappointed if you are not able to walk by the time you want to be able to do so.”  In my mind, I don’t see walking even as a possibility.  In his mind, he feels that as long

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